Robots, Mad doctors, Jerry Springer Oh my!
by Lord Vetinari
Summary: A short fiction on Rockman and his creators when they get onto Jerry Springer. Warning, I've never actually seen the show, so I'm sorry if this is bad..


::Ok, this is what happens when you think too much during gameplay. Either way, it was a hilarious thought to go through, let alone write out, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Anyway, I don't own any of these characters, sadly enough, so yadda yadda don't sue me blah blah. Also, I'm sorry if this isn't too good or anything; I wrote it within two hours or something. Anyway. Kudos to you if you do like it. ::  
  
"Didja get the popcorn, X?" Zero asked impatiently on the couch. Roll squirmed into a more comfortable position for movie-watching as the T.V. continued on static, awaiting video-tape-orders.  
  
"Almost done!" X replied from in the kitchen. "I still don't see why or how we can eat it though.. I mean, we ARE robots n' all.."  
  
"Don't think on scientific facts; we're sci-fi characters- we do things like that." That explained well enough, the smell of hot, light corn and a dash of butter and salt filled the air while X brought a large bowl-full of the Sacred Food and Zero grabbed the T.V.'s remote.  
  
"So what is it we're watching again?" Roll innocently asked.  
  
"It's an old tape I found near the place Professor Cain found me." X replied. "I think my creator made it, so I wanna see what he would make a tape of."  
  
"Sounds interesting enough for me!" Zero eagerly commented. "We have the popcorn, we have the tape, we can watch now." That being said, he pressed 'play' on the remote. The T.V. blinked a few times, starting the tape. "Out of curiosty," Zero added, "what was the tape called, anyway?"  
  
"I couldn't really read it because the label was so antiquated.." X admitted, "..but it looked like 'Jerbg Rcingie'."  
  
" 'Jerbg Rcingie'..?" Roll echoed. "Must be a code name or something.. sounds mysterious." Finally, the T.V. made a flash of static, and then there was silence. Soon, the silence was followed by the sound of clapping hands and voices cheering. Two words appeared across the screen; "Jerry Springer".  
  
A man stood amongst a crowd, a microphone in hand.  
  
"Hello people, I'm afraid to announce that the author has decided to make a parody of me without even taking the time to watch a whole episode through- so right now I really don't know how I would normally start off an episode." The audience 'aww'-ed in sympathy. "I know, I know.." the man cooed, "But anyway, we have a very interesting episode for you viewers, none the less. Two men, ex-lovers, do battle over the robots they made while in the relationship."  
  
"RIDICULOUS!!" A voice suddenly shouted. The camera swerved and showed the vexed face of a certain Dr. Wily; eyebrows flailing and veins popping. "I would NEVER fall for an over-stuffed..-! MARSHMALLOW like Professor Light!!" The addressed stood up, emotionally wounded.  
  
"Wily! How can you say that after all we did-!" The previous narriator returned into view, walking towards the two arguing men.  
  
"Gentlemen, please. We're not here to discuss what you two have done.."  
  
"WHICH WAS NOTHING..!" Wily yelled.  
  
"..But to talk about your creations."  
  
The scene suddenly changed to a familiar blue robot; a face normally happy or stern with the sense of justice, but right now his iolite eyes were weak and weary, his face wet with tears. He was in a room of his own, in an interview taken earlier.  
  
"I-it's true!" He sobbed. "My masters.. They did get along well before.. But.. But..! But now all Wily cares about it taking over the world!! And then Dr. Light sends me over- again and again- to send him to jail..! It's always the same! Eight robots, four extra levels in a fortress, fight the eight robots again, fight Wily, fight Wily again, put him to jail, repeat!" He paused, face in his hands. "N..! No one ever thinks about me anymore!! All I do is..! Is save the world! No more 'Do you wanna go for a picnic, Rock?' or 'Do you want to play badmiton with us, Rock?' or 'Do you want to watch Monty Python again with us, Rock?'-! But 'Go and fight these guys, Rockman!' 'You'll never take me alive, Rockman!' " Again the poor robot fell to sobbing. The scene returned to the two professors.  
  
"That's preposterous!!" Wily exclaimed, eye twitching. Light sighed, looking down at the floor.  
  
"What kind of master have I become..? Asking my only son to put my former lover into jail all the time..?"  
  
"Only son?" Jerry asked. "Are you sure you want to stand by that statement, Dr. Light? Because we have another robot here who claims to be of your mutual creation as well.."  
  
"Blues??" Both men asked. The aforementioned stepped onto the stage, both fists clenched and shaking while he could barely hold in his emotions.  
  
"I.. I didn't want to come here, in all decency.. But look at you two! Look at what you've become..!" Blues' breathing became harsh and shallow as he was now having difficultly holding back the tears. "When I was created..! I was all that mattered to you two..! Then came Rock, and Roll, and Bombman, and Guts, and the rest.. But after you took the defeated robots into your care, Dr. Light, you never even ASKED about me..! And I was stuck with Wily, who's had his eyes on me since MM2..!" Blues then bursted out yelling, pointing to Wily. "SPEAKING of which, what IS it with you and those ****** SKULL fortresses ANYWAY?!"  
  
"Blues," Wily started in a startlingly cool tone, "It's alright, I still care about you.."  
  
"Like H*** you do! And you didn't answer my question, letch!!" Light stepped forward.  
  
"Well, actually, Blues, Wily and I.. kinda had a thing for bondage.." Wily's eyes and veins popped as his former partner continued. "He would always be 'Skullulator' and I 'Aphrodisiac Man'.. After the breakup, he was never quite the same.."  
  
"N-Not true!" Wily yelled. Blues was now shaking in disgust.  
  
"E-Either way.." he hesitently continued, "You've been stalking me for the past four games now, and it's really starting to unnerve me.." Now Wily grinned.  
  
"Well you see, Blues, unlike our forgetful, obese and fibbing friend Dr. Light, I DO care about you.." Once again the robot had gathered strength in his hatred.  
  
"LIES! You only want me in bed, you pervert!!" The crowd started growing louder as guards had to hold the red-and-white robot from the professor.  
  
"Blues, I do still care for you, but the reason why I left you.." Light tried to explain while Blues was a bit more intent on Wily-killing, "I.. I was.. I was jealous!" Blues stopped his assault.  
  
"Jealous of what..?"  
  
"DON'T TELL HIM!" Rock exclaimed, leaping into view. Realizing he was now in the attention of so many, he decided to explain himself. "Blues.. uh.. I actually.." Rock tossed all explaining aside and instead grabbed his brother for a tight smooch. A few yells of encouragement and disgust from the audience, and soon Blues broke from the embrace.  
  
"Wh-..! What's wrong with all of you..?!" He started, finding difficulty in finding words now, "The THREE of you..?! Are infatuated with ME?!"  
  
"Almost." Light added, "I also like Rock myself." This said, the good doctor made a lunge for his blue creation to embrace. However, Rock resisted and pulled himself out of his creator's grasp.  
  
"PROFESSOR?!" Before he could respond, however, Wily stood to interfere.  
  
"Light! You said that I could have Blues, and you would have Rock! Keep out of my territory!"  
  
"Territory my ass! You're one to talk!" A punch was thrown, and soon two professors and a large amount of guardsmen were entangled, and Rock saw his opportunity.  
  
"Blues!" He suddenly said, grabbing his dear brother's hand, "I.. I know you never wanted to come here because of this.. But.. Now that I've told you.. L-Let's go! Together! Let's leave them all behind!"  
  
"What??" Before he could fully question his younger brother or resist, Blues was pulled away from the whole scene while the audience wildly cried out Jerry's name. Wily was bleeding from the forehead, screaming obscenities and Light was still struggling to do more damage. In the midst of all this chaos, the back wall exploded as a new figure came through the smoke. The doctors ignored this new addition to the disorder and continued to struggle to fight, while Forte had apparently decided to drop in.  
  
"BWAA!" Forte exclaimed, kicking a large piece of rubble he had made from the explosion, "How come no one ever tells me these things are going on?! I wanna fight too!" This said, the black robot literally jumped into the havoc and wrecked all he could. Jerry clambered his way back to the camera, holding a folder over his head to keep dust and debris from falling on it.  
  
"Well, as I said, this was going to be an interesting episode! It appears that while one pair has finally broken up, another may begin, and in the whole time this guy just wants to make a mess!"  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?!" Forte exclaimed, making his name valid. Suddenly he lunged at Jerry, the camera was knocked aside, and static soon reclaimed the T.V.  
  
X, Zero, and Roll sat in silence. 


End file.
